We’re always looking to find ourself. Thriving to figuring out who we are.
Who are you? Who am I? I don’t believe we’ll ever find that out.
People are always changing in the most mysterious ways.
Even though your favorite color was green when you were younger it doesn’t mean that’s the color you still like the best. It don’t have to be, even though you want it to be. Some people seem to be stuck in these questions, like “what’s your favorite Movie? Music? Animal? Day of the week? Number?” etc. How the hell are anybody suppose to know these things? How do you define a favorite, and how do one set the criteria?
It’s like it’s expected by us to know what we like the most. Numbero ueno. Ichi ban. One.
What’s your favorite Food? Drink? Computer? Browser? Blogger? Web site? Place to shit?
I know what I like sometimes, and what I like better other times.
Suddenly I don’t really like any of the alternatives anymore. I might just find something new, different and really weird to like. I can’t pick a favorite band, or musician, movie or book. It’s constantly changing, as long as I’m changing.
Like other people I’ve made a lot of lists with different favz, and I used to be a totally list “whore”. Sometimes I use it as a reminder for «who i might be». If I actually sometime just might be figuring that out. But the questions who confuse me the most is that am I actually going to be defined by what I choose to like, what I choose to adore, love and admire? Am I going to be looked upon differently when I suddenly do not care for somethings anymore? Like my political, or ethical views. Politics change all the time, and political parties change their election program every year it’s a new election. Suddenly some parties starts to care more about animal rights, or the environment, or the educational or the health systems. The shallow stuff that’s floating on the surface, for everyone to watch. The real issues never even get debated. We don’t even care, and a lot of people vote for the same parties every year. But for some people the change and the new way of thinking is false, and a way to get populistic votes.
People seem to be assuming that when others find themselves backing away from what they used to like, it’s like stating that one is denying oneself. Like we are forgetting who we are, deep down.
I think differently. Who we are, deep down, can never be changed. It’s ok to try something new. It’s ok admitting you are not a Messiah. It’s ok admitting you’re human. People learn and experience new things. People want to learn and get new experiences. And yes, that might be the main reason people are changing.
You always hear people commenting others, in different ways they’ve “changed”. «She used to be so different, she’s not the same person that she used to be, she’s changed so much».
What the hell?
Off course she has changed, it would be more shocking if she didn’t.
You’ve changed, right?
You’re changing all the time, we all are.
So what, people don’t do the same crazy shit anymore, or listen to the same old music.
So what they dress differently. So what. So fucking what. It’s fucking negligible.
Get a life for yourself and stop judging people. Live a little. Change a little. Why bother?
I look back music wise and see myself listening to Spicegirls, Britney, ToyBox and other «kids music». I would never ever have listened to that today. Why? Because I’ve changed. Or in other words; I developed. Whatever reason it might be, I’m not exactly the same person now that I was 15 years back. That would have been depressing to live in a bubble of high school memories and a realization that nothing had changed in 15 years.
I’m not the same person today, that I was yesterday, or the week before that.
Does that make me a horse on the run? I’ll say no.
Even though my mind and my way of thinking is changing as I keep getting new perspectives on things, I still have all the me inside of me. All my experiences is what I’ll take with me in life. Like my Kids-music-era; I learned a lot and I’ve decided that it’s something I don’t want to take with me in the future. To be more precisely: It’s some kind of music I don’t feel a need to listen to anymore. Surely, I can hear a song once a while at a really bad after-party without being nagged down. Surely, I can sing along in bad tunes. But the truth is I’d rather not, and I would rather not be at that after-party.
Maybe I’m just trying to justify the lost-sensation and give it a meaning, so that I won’t feel totally gone in mind.
I guess I like changes, and I want it just as much as 2pac.
Keep changing. Keep growing. Keep developing.
No Name Zero 